why in the hell am i doing this?

A little background on myself and why I writing this, in the form of ramblings:

Since my 22nd birthday I have decided to make some changes in my life. I lived the first 21 years of my life trying to do "what I was supposed" to do. Did anyone ever tell me what to do? Not directly. But if you are the oldest child in your family you will know what I mean by expectations. I got engaged at 20 to my high school sweetheart, because that was the next step and everyone in my extended family kept asking me when we were going to get married. That ended after 4 years of dating and 1 year of being engaged. Tomorrow is actually supposed to be my wedding day. Huh? Moving right along... I spent that last 3 1/2 years in college trying to figure out what I want to do and trying 8, yes 8, different majors, none of which seemed to fit. I just kept moving to the next one my mother suggested. Hasn't really worked out so well for me this far. I always worked at least 20 hrs a week at 1-2 jobs. Crazy right? But, now I have decided to change things up a little! I am doing things to make myself happy now! I am going to do what I want to do!

So far I have taken a few baby steps and a couple huge leaps if faith, and so far I am a much happier person because of it. I bought a new car, picked a major, got a new job and a new boyfriend. These things may not seem like a huge deal to most, but for me its huge. I picked out my car and I pay the bill, I am getting the degree I want to study, my job is in a field I actually enjoy, and the biggest step of all is my new man. I met AJ through Kiki, a girl who had become a very good friend of mine in a very short amount of time. I was actually trying to date someone else when I met him and was insisting on him getting back together with Kiki, yes Kiki and AJ dated for 1 yr and split about 1 1/2 yrs ago. Although I lost Kiki forever as a friend because she couldn't get over the idea of me dating her ex, I decided to date AJ. Boy am I glad I did that! He is great and I haven't been this happy in a relationship in about 5 years! YEAY ME!

I think that I am making real progress in my life, and I think that this blog will be a great outlet for me! I look forward to writing more and keeping Jill informed on my life. hahaha :)

Thanks Jill!

I dedicate this blog to a former housemate and one of the best friends I never wanted. Jillian See. I have been thinking for some time that I should write a blog... It was early today that I saw that she was writing one too! Thanks for the courage and a swift kick in the ass to get this thing started.

A quick disclaimer...

I am terrible with grammar and spelling.
I am not a writer.
I am writing this because I think to god damned much and writing shit out will be good for me. I honestly don't expect anyone but Jill to ever read any of my crazy posts!