Monday, April 12, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
So this is what this is for...
Ok, this is what I am writing this for...
Today I realized something HUGE! I have realized that the man of my dreams is just that, a dream. Its not real and I must look for the man of my life. I have been looking for love for my entire life.
Today I finally realized it comes in the most unconventional places. I was talking to my friend Elizabeth and as we got off the phone she goes, "I love you" and I said, "I love you too!" Finally I have found a profound love lol. I have all the love I need in my friends. I don't need a man, I have my girls and my family and they provide me with more love than I could ever ask for!
Most recently I have added a guy to my circle. I met this guy, Joshua, through my ex. My ex and I met him the same night and somehow Joshua and I made a great connection. We became quick friends. When my ex and I split, I called Joshua to talk and cry, etc. He has become one of my very best friends. He is there for me 24/7. He is an amazing man. Yes, I said man! He is fucking amazing... the more I learn about him and the more time we spend together, I have begun to realize that he is an amazing individual.
Joshua works for the US Corps of Engineers. He wants to work for the government as an environmental consultant. After that he hopes to become and environmental consultant for large corporations. He wants a career that makes him feel good about what he does and is not overly worried about how much money he makes. Even though this will surprise a lot of people I am the same way. I want a career that makes me feel good, that allows me time with my family, even if it means that I will have to cut back on my life style.
Joshua and I have spent so much time together lately and I have begun to realize that he is the type of man I envision spending my life with. He answers my phone calls. Cares what I think and feel, and generally cares about me and my well being. He is quickly becoming one of my very best friends and I am finding myself falling for him.
Joshua is recently (2months) out of a 1 1/2 yr long relationship. We are great friends and I pray that after the both of us get our lives on track we will turn our friendship into a relationship. I think I have found the man of my life.
Today I realized something HUGE! I have realized that the man of my dreams is just that, a dream. Its not real and I must look for the man of my life. I have been looking for love for my entire life.
Today I finally realized it comes in the most unconventional places. I was talking to my friend Elizabeth and as we got off the phone she goes, "I love you" and I said, "I love you too!" Finally I have found a profound love lol. I have all the love I need in my friends. I don't need a man, I have my girls and my family and they provide me with more love than I could ever ask for!
Most recently I have added a guy to my circle. I met this guy, Joshua, through my ex. My ex and I met him the same night and somehow Joshua and I made a great connection. We became quick friends. When my ex and I split, I called Joshua to talk and cry, etc. He has become one of my very best friends. He is there for me 24/7. He is an amazing man. Yes, I said man! He is fucking amazing... the more I learn about him and the more time we spend together, I have begun to realize that he is an amazing individual.
Joshua works for the US Corps of Engineers. He wants to work for the government as an environmental consultant. After that he hopes to become and environmental consultant for large corporations. He wants a career that makes him feel good about what he does and is not overly worried about how much money he makes. Even though this will surprise a lot of people I am the same way. I want a career that makes me feel good, that allows me time with my family, even if it means that I will have to cut back on my life style.
Joshua and I have spent so much time together lately and I have begun to realize that he is the type of man I envision spending my life with. He answers my phone calls. Cares what I think and feel, and generally cares about me and my well being. He is quickly becoming one of my very best friends and I am finding myself falling for him.
Joshua is recently (2months) out of a 1 1/2 yr long relationship. We are great friends and I pray that after the both of us get our lives on track we will turn our friendship into a relationship. I think I have found the man of my life.
Friday, January 8, 2010
why in the hell am i doing this?
A little background on myself and why I writing this, in the form of ramblings:
Since my 22nd birthday I have decided to make some changes in my life. I lived the first 21 years of my life trying to do "what I was supposed" to do. Did anyone ever tell me what to do? Not directly. But if you are the oldest child in your family you will know what I mean by expectations. I got engaged at 20 to my high school sweetheart, because that was the next step and everyone in my extended family kept asking me when we were going to get married. That ended after 4 years of dating and 1 year of being engaged. Tomorrow is actually supposed to be my wedding day. Huh? Moving right along... I spent that last 3 1/2 years in college trying to figure out what I want to do and trying 8, yes 8, different majors, none of which seemed to fit. I just kept moving to the next one my mother suggested. Hasn't really worked out so well for me this far. I always worked at least 20 hrs a week at 1-2 jobs. Crazy right? But, now I have decided to change things up a little! I am doing things to make myself happy now! I am going to do what I want to do!
So far I have taken a few baby steps and a couple huge leaps if faith, and so far I am a much happier person because of it. I bought a new car, picked a major, got a new job and a new boyfriend. These things may not seem like a huge deal to most, but for me its huge. I picked out my car and I pay the bill, I am getting the degree I want to study, my job is in a field I actually enjoy, and the biggest step of all is my new man. I met AJ through Kiki, a girl who had become a very good friend of mine in a very short amount of time. I was actually trying to date someone else when I met him and was insisting on him getting back together with Kiki, yes Kiki and AJ dated for 1 yr and split about 1 1/2 yrs ago. Although I lost Kiki forever as a friend because she couldn't get over the idea of me dating her ex, I decided to date AJ. Boy am I glad I did that! He is great and I haven't been this happy in a relationship in about 5 years! YEAY ME!
I think that I am making real progress in my life, and I think that this blog will be a great outlet for me! I look forward to writing more and keeping Jill informed on my life. hahaha :)
Since my 22nd birthday I have decided to make some changes in my life. I lived the first 21 years of my life trying to do "what I was supposed" to do. Did anyone ever tell me what to do? Not directly. But if you are the oldest child in your family you will know what I mean by expectations. I got engaged at 20 to my high school sweetheart, because that was the next step and everyone in my extended family kept asking me when we were going to get married. That ended after 4 years of dating and 1 year of being engaged. Tomorrow is actually supposed to be my wedding day. Huh? Moving right along... I spent that last 3 1/2 years in college trying to figure out what I want to do and trying 8, yes 8, different majors, none of which seemed to fit. I just kept moving to the next one my mother suggested. Hasn't really worked out so well for me this far. I always worked at least 20 hrs a week at 1-2 jobs. Crazy right? But, now I have decided to change things up a little! I am doing things to make myself happy now! I am going to do what I want to do!
So far I have taken a few baby steps and a couple huge leaps if faith, and so far I am a much happier person because of it. I bought a new car, picked a major, got a new job and a new boyfriend. These things may not seem like a huge deal to most, but for me its huge. I picked out my car and I pay the bill, I am getting the degree I want to study, my job is in a field I actually enjoy, and the biggest step of all is my new man. I met AJ through Kiki, a girl who had become a very good friend of mine in a very short amount of time. I was actually trying to date someone else when I met him and was insisting on him getting back together with Kiki, yes Kiki and AJ dated for 1 yr and split about 1 1/2 yrs ago. Although I lost Kiki forever as a friend because she couldn't get over the idea of me dating her ex, I decided to date AJ. Boy am I glad I did that! He is great and I haven't been this happy in a relationship in about 5 years! YEAY ME!
I think that I am making real progress in my life, and I think that this blog will be a great outlet for me! I look forward to writing more and keeping Jill informed on my life. hahaha :)
Thanks Jill!
I dedicate this blog to a former housemate and one of the best friends I never wanted. Jillian See. I have been thinking for some time that I should write a blog... It was early today that I saw that she was writing one too! Thanks for the courage and a swift kick in the ass to get this thing started.
A quick disclaimer...
I am terrible with grammar and spelling.
I am not a writer.
I am writing this because I think to god damned much and writing shit out will be good for me. I honestly don't expect anyone but Jill to ever read any of my crazy posts!
A quick disclaimer...
I am terrible with grammar and spelling.
I am not a writer.
I am writing this because I think to god damned much and writing shit out will be good for me. I honestly don't expect anyone but Jill to ever read any of my crazy posts!
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